


Ache

by Kalikuks



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Canon-Typical Character Death(s), Canon-Typical Violence, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Emotional Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Mutual Pining, Pining, Spoilers for V1, Suggestive Themes, Thanatos' POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27381460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalikuks/pseuds/Kalikuks
Summary: None of the residents at the House pushed the Prince to do this. None of them is the one who left without a single word of parting.And ah, there it is, twisting yet again. The ache that gnaws deep in Thanatos’ chest.It’s ultimately what pushes Thanatos to find Zagreus in Elysium. To confront the Prince, ask him why he upended all their lives this way. Why he of all was not worth a goodbye with their considerable history as friends before all of this.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --Thanatos' POV and Pining, essentially. Spoilers for his route.
Relationships: Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 179





	Ache

**Author's Note:**

> I was overcome with Thanatos feelings so I wrote this.  
> I used this [ wonderful document](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LRwpXioipTi14yJT7FpowwxNtlF1qMjgOgLIZ5vWd6c/edit#) by @litto_fish that compiles a lot of Thanatos' dialogue. I didn't copy them word for word so much as reference them so if you need clarification or just want to look up what the convo referenced is you can check it out.

Mortals live such short lives. Many things can end their existence. War, famine, the unyielding cold of Demeter’s wrath. So many ways for their fates to end, and yet they toil endlessly against them. Thanatos no longer bothers questioning why mortals do the things they do. He is Death. He rends soul from body with a sweep of his scythe, the soul blossoming from the body on delicate teal wings. 

Thanatos holds out his gauntleted hand, steady. The soul, now in the form of a butterfly, seems hesitant. But death is patient, and soon the frail little soul flits and lands delicately on one of the cold metal claws. Teal wings slowly opening and closing. Thanatos brings his hand closer to himself and offers them a gentle smile. 

The lost soul will be soon on their way, to the Temple of Styx and in the care of Charon as he ferries them to their place in the Underworld. Yet Thanatos pauses now in calling Hermes to whisk the soul away, watching the tiny form flutter for some time. 

Mortals live such short lives, and this one had simply wasted away to nothing. Dying of a broken heart.

Thanatos had never understood these souls before. How love could move one to such an end. But he thinks he understands a little better now. He knows the ache that accompanies the absence of one you care so profoundly and deeply for. The House of Hades is in a state of turmoil. Its Prince absent while he embarks on reckless escape attempts. 

Wherever he is now, Zagreus has no idea what he’s wrought on Thanatos’ heart. Thanatos at times isn’t even sure himself. So complicated are his feelings. But the ache persists regardless of his best guesses. The soul perched on Thanatos’ gauntlet does not have the answers he seeks, so he finally calls upon Hermes to take the soul to Charon. 

Leaving Thanatos alone once more with nothing but that ache for company. 

It worsens when Thanatos finds the time in between reaping souls to stop by the House and Zagreus is absent. The halls feel colder than Thanatos ever remembers. Perhaps it is Hades’ cold contempt for his rebellious son that Thanatos feels. Or is it just his own resentment for his Lord Master for not trying harder to find Zagreus a place among these halls? Perhaps, and most likely, he is just placing blame for Zagreus’ actions on others. 

None of the residents at the House pushed the prince to do this. None of them is the one who left without a single word of parting.

And ah, there it is, twisting yet again. The ache that gnaws deep in Thanatos’ chest. 

It’s ultimately what pushes Thanatos to find Zagreus in Elysium. To confront the prince, ask him why he upended all their lives this way. Why _he_ of all was not worth a goodbye with their considerable history as friends before all of this. 

Yet Thanatos does not get the explanation he wants when he and Zagreus are finally face to face. The ache in Thanatos’ chest twists and he parts with a bitter goodbye of his own and teleports away before Zagreus can say anything to prevent his retreat. In a quieter corner of Elysium, Thanatos curses at himself and wipes away stray angry tears. 

The ache does not subside as he had hoped with some sort of parting between them. Instead, it curls and twists into a whole new form, accommodating the guilt that had sunk in deep to nestle alongside it. A flash of hurt in mismatched eyes had been all it took to seed it. Zagreus had wanted Thanatos to understand.

How can he possibly understand? Zagreus gave him no reason why and Thanatos can barely parse his own feelings and this blasted ache. 

Thanatos throws himself into his work to avoid thinking about it too much, yet even with the distraction of his station, it is not enough to ignore the ache. But the more time he spends with the ache, the more Thanatos starts to learn its shape. Mismatched eyes and a lopsided smile. A rebellious yet kind heart. 

“Zagreus,” Thanatos greets when he inserts himself into the prince’s path again in Asphodel. 

The cautious smile he receives in turn twinges the ache and eases it in spades. 

Thanatos watches Zagreus fight through the wretches, the hoards of Hades an afterthought to him. The Prince’s eyes are alight with both determination and the magma of the Phlegethon that had drowned the once flowering meadows here in flame. Zagreus seems to be fighting hard, breathing ragged as he tries to keep himself afloat. Spilling his red blood across the blackened islands. This attempt must not be turning out so well for the Prince. And Thanatos still can’t even begin to guess why Zagreus does this.

It only ends poorly for the Prince, time and time again. Elysium was the farthest Zagreus has gotten yet when Thanatos finally thought to intervene. While he still finds this whole thing maddening, Thanatos begrudgingly admits to himself that Zagreus is persistent. But to go through this pain, all these senseless deaths each attempt…

Whatever Zagreus is trying to accomplish here it must be of great importance to him. That at least is the conclusion Thanatos draws. It does not prevent the ache in Thanatos’ chest from twisting though, and he shrouds both it and his confusing hurt with anger yet again when he leaves Zagreus with more clipped, biting words and no chance to reply.

Thanatos had even purposely not looked at Zagreus this time as he teleported away and yet he aches still. It would be best to end this here and now. Leave Zagreus be and let him keep trying his futile escape attempts. He’s chosen his bed to lie in, Thanatos reminds himself.

Yet when there is a lull in his work and Thanatos finds himself at the House for a moment, it's Zagreus this time who finds him. Thanatos doesn’t even get a word in before the Prince strides up and places a delicate bottle into his hands. It takes Thanatos a second to realize what it even is, so unused to offerings and Olympian delicacies like nectar. The claws of his gauntlet can’t even scratch the crystalline bottle when he clutches it a bit too tight. 

It would be like Zagreus to cause further problems by bringing such contraband into his Lord Father’s halls. Thanatos has no idea what Zagreus could possibly be thinking, handing him this. But when he looks back at Zagreus from the bottle in his grasp, to the ever-confident Prince wavering ever so slightly as his giftee remains silent for a beat too long, Thanatos knows the gesture to be sincere. Even if the ache flares in response. 

Zagreus is saying something about the gift of nectar of all things not being much. Thanatos holds his tongue, keeps his bitter reply that if Zagreus was truly choosing to make it up to him, he would cease his escape attempts entirely. The thought brings to mind their last meeting in Asphodel and Zagreus’ wild recklessness against the hordes of wretches. His red blood spilling and fizzling in the heat. 

Perhaps a gift deserves a gift in kind, Thanatos decides. If Zagreus’ countless, painful deaths have not encouraged him to cease his actions, then Death himself holds no hope to convince him. Thanatos can at least encourage him to be more mindful. The pierced butterfly looks so delicate in his gauntlet when Thanatos pulls the trinket from the ether. Zagreus accepts it with wide eyes and a quiet reverence that Thanatos does not expect. It does a peculiar something to the ache in his chest, and Thanatos teleports from the House with near immediacy after he tells Zagreus to tell no one.

It's as he’s collecting another soul and awaiting Hermes to come to fetch it that Thanatos muses on his actions, and how they could be misinterpreted as aiding the Prince. He’d truly just been trying to understand what Zagreus was trying to achieve. At first. The second time in Asphodel, well Thanatos had admittedly lent a hand in a way. Hades has no doubt taken note of his absences from his endless work. It would be wise to avoid Zagreus.

Yet Thanatos can’t bring himself to. The ache persists, but it does strange things in the Prince’s presence. It ebbs, eases, and at times the edges of it burn when Zagreus is not careful enough and takes too many blows. Thanatos appears to Zagreus when he can spare a moment, intercepts his escape attempts to have increasingly friendlier competitions battling the wretches that impede Zagreus’ progress. Every attempt Zagreus gets farther, wiser to the ways of the wretches and traps in the depths of the Underworld. 

Sometimes the delicate pierced butterfly is pinned to Zagreus’ chiton. Thanatos is unaccustomed to the warmth that blooms in his chest at the sight. It overtakes the ache, if for the moment, but it returns with the errant, niggling thought that Zagreus might achieve what he seeks to do with his increasing skill and the Olympians’ aid. Thanatos is still not entirely sure what Zagreus’ goal is but to simply get out.

Thanatos tries his luck at one point and simply asks that Zagreus come home. It goes as well as he thought it would and worsens the ache tenfold with Zagreus’ admittance that home is not the same for him anymore. How could it not be? Zagreus is the Prince. And yet, there’s a longing there in his eyes that Thanatos catches briefly. He gets the overwhelming sense that there is something Zagreus is looking for that can only be found on the surface. 

Perhaps that is why Thanatos chooses to offer himself up for punishment when the Lord of the House catches onto the fact that he has been aiding Zagreus. The mere thought of Zagreus locked somewhere in the depths of Tartarus had been strangely too much to bear. The ache throbbing like a wound at the thought of such a drastic punishment for the Prince. 

Thankfully nothing of the sort comes to pass, and Thanatos is free to do his work, and Zagreus is surprisingly left to continue his attempts at freedom. Thanatos sees no point in ceasing giving the Prince his aid either. And Zagreus… Zagreus still catches Thanatos off guard with gifts of nectar while out and about or at the House. The ache turns into a fluttering each time. Thanatos has lost count of the number of bottles he’s now stashed away that he’s received from the Prince.

Once their fingers had brushed when Zagreus had handed a bottle over, and the warmth of his hand had not left Thanatos’ mind for hours while he reaped souls. A simple touch and yet he finds himself turning it over and over in his mind. Zagreus’ words as well from the exchange. From every exchange, more or less. Thanatos replays each time the Prince had handed over to him one of these precious little bottles. 

Wasted generosity, considering that Zagreus fully intends to leave the Underworld and by extension Thanatos behind. The ache in his chest riots at the thought. This is yet another thing that Thanatos can’t parse when it comes to Zagreus. At first, the Prince had told him not to think too much of the gifts but then recently the little nectar bottles have become a token of how the Prince supposedly _feels_. 

Thanatos isn’t even certain of how he himself feels. He knows that he cares for Zagreus, deeply. Thanatos always has. The ache he feels is proof enough of this. But Zagreus… Thanatos has no idea what these feelings entail or what even is between them anymore. The only thing he knows is that they are somehow more than they were when they were friends long ago. 

Thanatos doesn’t get to ask before Zagreus does the impossible. He escapes. 

It’s the strangest sight to witness Lord Hades himself emerge from the Styx. It makes the ache in Thanatos’ chest seize uncomfortably. It squeezes his heart tight. Thanatos moves to the balcony overlooking the Styx and silently seethes in his sorrow. He does not linger long, already there is a soul calling for him and he shifts to their side immediately. It’s a welcome distraction from the uncertainty of ever being able to see his Prince again.

Thanatos is in the middle of retrieving another to send along with Hermes to Charon when he feels the call of a much more familiar soul. It shocks him, makes him nearly miss severing the soul from the mortal body in front of him. Zagreus. 

_How?_

Thanatos is Death. He’s felt Zagreus slip from life time and time again, the thread of his fate cut by Thanatos’ solitary sisters before they weave it whole once more and Zagreus crawls out of the Styx. Always violently, at least when the Prince was making his attempts to escape, meaning it was never the more gentle Thanatos’ job to retrieve him. And now, out here, amid the cold and desolation of the surface, it’s calling to Thanatos so clearly. 

It can only mean that violence was not Zagreus’ end, but then what had ended the Prince?

Just as suddenly as Zagreus’ essence calls to him it disappears from Thanatos’ notice entirely. Like it was submerged. It can only be the Styx reclaiming the Prince. The ache in Thanatos’ chest lurches painfully, and he grows antsier the longer he has to wait watching over the soul in his charge. When Hermes finally shows up to retrieve the soul to deliver to Charon, Thanatos nearly shoves it into a startled God of Swiftness’ hands and teleports right back to the House. 

Zagreus is not there. 

“Where did he go?” Thanatos asks his brother, startling Hypnos awake. Zagreus occupies too many of Thanatos’ thoughts right now to lecture Hypnos about sleeping on the job again.

“Oh? Zagreus?” Hypnos hums. He stifles a yawn as he thinks for a moment, “Well, he came out of the Styx as usual, stopped to have a chat with everyone, and then went right back out! You pretty much just missed him! Seemed to be in more of a hurry than usual.”

“Thank you,” Thanatos nearly shifts away then and there to chase after Zagreus, but he pauses, “What happened to him on the surface? He died, but of what?”

“Well, that’s the strangest part! _Natural causes._ ” Hypnos replies, ever cheerful, “Super weird, right?”

“Yes.” Thanatos agrees, his mind already elsewhere. 

Clearly, there is something still for Zagreus up there if he’s immediately trying to return. Thanatos thinks to go to him, find him again, but there are souls already calling for his attention. He sighs and goes to do his duties, mind on his Prince. Thanatos does not see Zagreus for a little while yet, but he knows the Prince has not escaped again. 

When he next crosses paths with the Prince, the Underworld has shifted, the wretches in Zagreus’ path more vicious, even in Tartarus. A pact of punishment then. Of course Hades would issue such a thing to his own son. It does not surprise Thanatos that Zagreus would agree to it either, perhaps to prove to his Lord Father that even the pact won’t stop him. 

It indeed doesn’t seem to be slowing him down, and Thanatos feels a strange twinge of pride. 

Thanatos doesn’t even think to ask Zagreus what happened to him on the surface, merely remarks that he had thought Zagreus had made it before the wretches are upon them both. Thanatos watches Zagreus as they fight through wretches side by side. He seems so different now than how he was when the two of them were younger.

Thanatos wonders if he truly knows Zagreus at all anymore. He can’t help but repeat the sentiment out loud to Zagreus. Voicing it eases the ache, so does the way Zagreus’ face softens. Thanatos puts a name to the expression far easier than he can put a name to the ache in his chest. It's a certain sort of yearning. 

It stays in his mind even as he teleports from Zagreus’ side. The ache flares as he departs and Thanatos has to wave away the thought to merely return to the Prince. Thanatos wonders if his ache is another certain sort of yearning. Perhaps it simply shares its name with the one who causes it. 

Thanatos gets some of the answers he seeks the next time he runs into Zagreus. The Prince had been stopped in his tracks after running into all of the Furies at the end of Tartarus’ chambers. Thanatos finds him in Asphodel this time and briefly wishes the Prince had seen this corner of the Underworld before the Phlegethon had destroyed its famous flowering meadows. The wistful thought of spending time here with Zagreus if Asphodel is ever returned to its former glory catches him off guard, enough that it grants Zagreus the lead in their now customary competition. 

Finally, Thanatos asks what’s been burning on his mind as he hands over Zagreus’ prize for winning yet again. The answer is not what he is expecting. Despite everything, every attempt where Zagreus has thrown himself so determinedly into reaching the surface, he cannot stay there. He’s attempting to do so yet again, though Zagreus offers the reason why freely to Thanatos. His mother. 

Zagreus has just been trying to find his mother.

The relief Thanatos feels is palpable. It swells and overtakes the ache, makes him lose his train of thought and nearly say too much. He tries to salvage it and still admits that he would seek Zagreus out on the surface. Even that feels like too much as Thanatos amends it by admitting that he’s not too keen on spending more time than he needs to up there. Zagreus’ reply of understanding can be heard even though Thanatos shifts to the surface for the next soul he must retrieve. 

The ache still persists, but it does not throb so painfully when the Prince is absent now that Thanatos knows he will be returning to the House. Now it is just a longing. Thanatos can at least admit that to himself now. There’s a certain joy he finds in the Prince’s presence, and he misses it when he is away on soul retrieval. Thanatos misses Zagreus. 

He thinks or wants to believe at least, that Zagreus feels the same, that he misses Thanatos too. The Prince brightens at his arrival when they meet, making Zagreus one of the few beings in existence that Thanatos can ever recall being eager to see him. Zagreus gets endearingly cocky when they compete now, and sometimes Thanatos catches Zagreus staring at him out of the corner of his eye. Then when Thanatos turns his attention to him, Zagreus grows bolder, becomes flashier as he fights the hoards of wretches. Showing off.

Thanatos has spent many moments wondering if it is just for him that Zagreus does so. The idea does strange things to the aching longing Thanatos feels. Lots of strange ideas have been crossing Thanatos’ mind when it comes to Zagreus as of late though. When their competitions end, Thanatos has longed to tuck errant strands of that dark hair back behind Zagreus’ ears or fix his askew laurel crown. Once he even considered simply taking the Prince’s chin in hand and kissing him. 

Thanatos keeps these thoughts to himself, but when they next speak at the House and Zagreus passes another bottle of nectar into his hands, Thanatos asks. He asks Zagreus what they are, what Thanatos is to him. Tries as best as he can to lay himself bare and still comes up frustratingly short, the longing ache making the usually collected Thanatos fumble his thoughts. 

Zagreus seems to fumble through his words too. Admitting he likes when they cross paths and he finds their sparring exciting, and he likes that it means Thanatos might be here at the House. It’s not an answer and definitely not the one Thanatos is seeking. Thanatos says as much and sensing that this conversation is going nowhere, backtracks, and disappears before he can make a fool of himself. 

He regrets it, of course he does. Thanatos knows full well he will not get the answer from Zagreus unless the two of them actually speak on this. But still, part of Thanatos is fearful, fearing the Prince might not feel the same way. It is so incredibly strange to be something so many fear and feel fear yourself. It's just strange to feel.

It certainly doesn’t help either that these feelings are sent into an absolute riot when Thanatos meets Zagreus again in Elysium and the Prince says he _cares_ for him. Yet even Zagreus doesn’t have the answer to what they are or how to define what it is between them. Thanatos aches again, but it lurches in so many different ways his head spins with the torrent of all the emotions vying to rise. It’s confusing and Thanatos can’t even begin to guess what it is that he’s feeling right this moment. Can’t even understand what to say in response to Zagreus as he nervously awaits Thanatos’ reply. 

He plays it safe again. Admits he misses his unfeeling existence before Zagreus came along and shook up the lonely little world Thanatos built around himself. Not in so many words, no, but Thanatos thinks that Zagreus is starting to come to understand him. Thanatos hopes so at least. In case the Prince does not, Thanatos tries to be clear. Tries to admit he thinks they are so much more than friends but the words catch in his throat again and he averts his gaze. Despite that, Thanatos manages to admit his embarrassment. It’s a start.

Zagreus reassures him, even in these matters so very kind and trying to lighten things by saying this _feelings_ thing is much harder than facing the hoards. Thanatos can’t help but agree. Zagreus reaffirms that he’s been questioning the same things Thanatos has, and it brings him some comfort that this might not be as one sided as he feared. 

Thanatos wants nothing more than to stay with Zagreus and see if they can figure these feelings out together, but his work calls him from the Prince’s side. He spends a lot of time as he reaps souls thinking about Zagreus. Puzzling over his own feelings. Thanatos cares so much for the Prince, for Zagreus. His heart still aches when he has to leave Zagreus’ side. It feels fit to burst when they are together, wherever they manage to meet as Zagreus tries to escape over and over again.

Zagreus has gotten more skilled, Thanatos is loath to admit that Zagreus might not need his assistance anymore. Doesn’t mean that Thanatos will stop popping in. He’s come to enjoy the time spent with Zagreus, even if it's in the middle of battle. The Prince is beautiful in his ferocity and beautiful in his kindness, and Thanatos cherishes all that is Zagreus. 

He wishes it was not such a struggle to find the words to tell Zagreus so. These riotous feelings are still so new, they are aches and flutterings and they steal his words and thoughts during the few precious moments that Thanatos can be in Zagreus’ presence. Thanatos tries to voice these things when they next meet in Elysium, but it comes out a little bit off, to the point where Zagreus misunderstands. 

He thinks he manages to salvage it, and when Zagreus replies that it is indeed alright for Thanatos to continue to lend his aid, Thanatos floods with relief before he must depart. Whatever happens between them, Thanatos thinks it best if he learns to try to avoid saying such things to make Zagreus misunderstand. But the way Zagreus had immediately assumed the worst… had he been afraid Thanatos would never stop by for another competition again? 

Thanatos thinks over their conversations, turning over every word, searching for other instances he might have come off unkind. He wonders, not for the first time, if Zagreus aches too. Does he turn over each of their meetings like this? Ponders what to say and not to say when in Thanatos’ presence? 

Well, there is one way that Thanatos thinks everything on his end could be made clearer. But Zagreus still somehow beats him to it, pressing a much larger bottle into Thanatos’ hands while he stands on the balcony overlooking the Styx. Ambrosia is an extravagant gift, one that until now Thanatos had never received. Death does not get gifts or offerings like this, it is pointless to try to persuade something inevitable. 

Zagreus proves yet again he is an exception. Always Thanatos’ exception. Something warm settles in his chest, blossoming without his say into a flourish of warmth. It helps Thanatos make his decision, and with a rare instance of wry playfulness on his part, Mort changes hands. Zagreus’ eyes alight in reverent wonder as he takes the powerful mouse plush, and Thanatos hopes that there is no way Zagreus can mistake such a grand gesture for what it is. 

Mort has always been one of Thanatos’ most cherished companions. Now he’s in Zagreus’ care, a sign of deep trust in of itself. Saying what Thanatos can’t find the courage to say himself; _I care for you. I’d trust you with my heart if you want it to be yours. Take care of it if you choose to claim it. I hope you trust me to look out for you._

There’s no better way for Thanatos to show his interest than letting Zagreus take care of Mort. To let the Prince call upon him, rely on him when the going gets tough out there in the Underworld. Escaping to see his mother is so important to Zagreus, Thanatos couldn’t think of a greater gift than to continue to show him support. He genuinely wants to. Thanatos wants to see Zagreus succeed, see him happy and thriving. 

And Zagreus is _thriving._ He escapes again, and again. Thanatos still finds the time to run into the Prince on his escape attempts, and cannot help the joy that moves through his being when he sees that Mort is present on the Prince’s person. When they’re both at the house next, another Ambrosia bottle is passed into Thanatos’ hands. Zagreus’ smile is warm and reaches his eyes. Thanatos wants to kiss the corners of that smile and wonders if the Prince would only smile wider in response to such an action. 

The last Ambrosia bottle had tasted of the memories of other sweet smiles Zagreus had turned upon Thanatos. It had tasted of the rush of their competitions, the exhilaration in fighting side by side with the Prince. Tastes of the longing ache and the warmth settled deep in Thanatos’ chest when his job takes him from the Prince’s side for long periods of time. Still oblivious Zagreus points out that each bottle is supposed to taste different, and Thanatos is left wondering what memories will this one taste of. 

If Thanatos should kiss him now, will it taste of Zagreus’ lips? The soft, surprised sigh he will no doubt make against Thanatos’ lips before the kiss is tentatively returned?

Thanatos aches, but Death is patient, and he waits. It’s unfortunately long enough for doubt to sink in once again. Does Zagreus truly not understand? Perhaps handing off Mort had been too vague of a way to announce his feelings? Thanatos is deep within these doubts again when Zagreus hands off another bottle of Ambrosia to him. It’s starting to feel just a bit ridiculous, being handed such a rare and technically illegal gift time after time. 

Thanatos’ grousing might be a little unwarranted, especially when his grumpiness comes to a screeching halt when Zagreus admits the lavish gifts are because he _likes_ Thanatos. He even has the audacity to say that _Thanatos_ is the one with misgivings. Which admittedly, yes, because feelings are still so strange and difficult to parse even now that Thanatos is starting to understand them all a little better. Said feelings are rioting in his chest again because of such a simple phrase.

_“...It’s because I like you, Thanatos.”_

Such havoc on his heart, but Thanatos wouldn’t be so caught up in a swirl of emotion if it were anyone but Zagreus saying such things. It’s just so strange to hear, after everything. Thanatos admits at least that to Zagreus, while silently agonizing over what way does Zagreus mean that he likes Thanatos? 

He can’t ask because now the Prince is saying something about Thanatos not feeling the same way about _him_ . Thanatos can’t decide if he wants to laugh because of the absurdity of it all or weep out of frustration. Thanatos does neither. Instead, he snaps hastily that he never said he wished to cease any of their _coy exchanges_ as Zagreus had described them.

This is too much, too quickly. 

Thanatos makes a frail excuse of needing to go reap more mortal souls in order to remove himself from the conversation. For once, it is a lie. There are no souls calling to him at this moment. Thanatos appears in a flash of teal light somewhere amidst a snowy landscape on the surface and buries his face in his palms in embarrassed frustration. Zagreus’ plea for him to wait carries to him even now. Thanatos groans aloud and just stews in his thoughts until a soul inevitably calls out to him. 

He cannot avoid Zagreus forever of course. Mort allows Zagreus to summon Thanatos to his side whenever he feels the need, and Thanatos still can’t help but seek out Zagreus for their friendly competitions. It’s here, in Elysium yet again after fighting off the Exalted souls in Zagreus’ path together where Zagreus offers up another bottle of Ambrosia to Thanatos. Despite everything, Thanatos takes it as Zagreus offers an apology alongside the bottle. 

Zagreus thinks he needs to be upfront lest he risks their _relationship._ Thanatos points out that there is nothing to risk that has not already been risked before when Zagreus first chose to leave. Zagreus flinches, but it's the truth. Neither of them can go back and change that. Thanatos presses, gently as he can, about what Zagreus means when he says that he cares for him. 

Finally, they both reach an understanding of a sort. Zagreus realizing that he never wanted to hurt Thanatos by leaving like that, that he should have let him know what he intended to do. How Zagreus started to realize his own feelings when Thanatos confronted him. Honesty deserves honesty in kind, and Thanatos offers up his own heart. Admits to the anger he felt, born out of the thought of being left behind by Zagreus. The unexpected intensity of it. 

He asks the Prince what they should do. Zagreus suggests they take their time. That if Thanatos feels the same way Zagreus does, he knows where to find him. That whatever this turns out to be, he’s grateful. Thanatos can’t help but agree. Even if everything does not work out, it has been incredibly nice just to be in Zagreus’ presence. 

When Thanatos takes his leave he does so swimming in his own thoughts. He wants so much more than friendship, and he’s certain that Zagreus must want the same. Thanatos puzzles over how exactly to approach Zagreus to make his intent clear. Something that will not be misunderstood. 

Megaera is surprisingly helpful in this regard. Not by Thanatos’ asking either, they’d crossed paths and she’d wordlessly dragged him into the lounge after looking him over and more or less demanded Thanatos speak about what was on his mind. Thanatos does, and Megaera listens as he speaks best that he can about his feelings for Zagreus. She’s hard to read as it is, but Thanatos does not feel judgment from her. Ironic really, given her role in delivering justice to some of the most wicked shades in Tartarus. 

“Sometimes you really have to spell it out for him,” Megaera starts after Thanatos finishes explaining his predicament, “It sounds like Zagreus thinks you’re the one stuck on this, and he’s trying to be unnecessarily considerate. You should show him that you don’t need his consideration in this.”

“Might I ask how exactly I go about doing that?” Thanatos is glad for Megaera’s continued near indifference when he feels like seconds away from merely teleporting away to deal with this later. “All of this is not exactly my strongest suit.” 

Megaera smirks, “I might have a suggestion.”

Which is how Thanatos finds himself waiting in Zagreus’ room. Just standing in here feels already incredibly intimate. Thanatos talks himself out of giving up and teleporting away a few times while he awaits Zagreus’ return. He does not have to wait long.

Zagreus is back and he looks surprised to see Thanatos in his rooms. Pleasantly so. Thanatos announces that he must speak with him, that ache a fluttering in his chest wild with his nerves. Zagreus’ smile eases those nerves, especially when the Prince says it's good to see him. Spoken with such fondness too, it gives Thanatos the courage to continue. Asking if Zagreus truly desires for them to take their time. 

To his surprise, Zagreus crosses over to him, coming to stand face to face with Thanatos. Saying that this, whatever it is between them, it’s not impulsive for Zagreus. That he’ll wait for Thanatos, however long it takes.

Thanatos is done waiting. 

He _wants_ Zagreus to be impulsive here. This is one of those impulses that he wishes Zagreus would act upon. Thanatos even says so in his way as he takes Zagreus’ hands in his. If it remains unclear still then…

“You’ll say you’ll wait, well, let me ask you this; What are you waiting for?” Thanatos begins softly, laying his heart bare. Thanatos’ chest feels as if it is about to burst with the absolute riot of his feelings, awash in a vulnerability he is unused to as he stutters, “W-What are you waiting for, I’m here, already. Right…?”

Thanatos watches the realization slowly dawn on Zagreus’ features, hears his name breathlessly uttered before Zagreus laughs at his own oblivious expense. Says that Thanatos is right. He’s right.

This is right. They are right. 

Thanatos is the one who acts on impulse, leaning down and kissing Zagreus. It’s clumsy, and Zagreus presses into the kiss, into Thanatos eagerly. Always in a rush. Thanatos brings his hands up to cup Zagreus’ face, to slow the pace of the kiss. They part breathlessly, and Zagreus smiles wide. A mischievous glint in those mismatched eyes Thanatos adores.

Zagreus hops into Thanatos’ arms without warning and staggers them both, and they fall into Zagreus’ bed in a fit of giggles. Thanatos curls his arms around Zagreus and pulls him closer, running his fingers through dark hair. He can feel his attention wanted elsewhere, souls calling for him. But Zagreus is here, finally in Thanatos’ arms, and for once he selfishly decides that the mortals can await Death for a moment longer. 

Thanatos indulges in the Prince. Slowly works Zagreus free of his clothing so Thanatos may indulge in Zagreus’ kiss and touch and pleasure. Thanatos Indulges in the way his heart no longer aches but beats in time with Zagreus’ as they steal this moment to themselves. Finds himself soon curling close as they both come down from the height of bliss, and even when resting it seems that Zagreus must find a way to constantly be in motion. 

Thanatos lets Zagreus explore him, even though he was certain that after their passion there isn't much left for the Prince to discover. Those clever fingers find their way into Thanatos’ hair to idly play with the shaved fuzz and Thanatos sighs in such contentment. He can’t stay here much longer though, there is quite a racket of souls calling for his attention in his consciousness. 

Eventually, Thanatos must redress and be on his way. He does so reluctantly. Zagreus watches him in the silence they share between them, still tangled in the sheets. Aphrodite herself could never hold a candle to such effortless beauty, Thanatos thinks privately to himself. Zagreus looks incredibly, and a little adorably displeased that Thanatos has to leave. It only adds to the gorgeous picture that Zagreus makes. 

Zagreus asks what is on Thanatos’ mind, admitting he dislikes when Thanatos is quiet for so long. Thanatos doesn’t take offense, instead reminding Zagreus it is something he will have to grow used to. He does reassure his Prince that his silence is not something to be taken the wrong way though. 

Thanatos does ask tentatively before he departs if it would be alright to see Zagreus again. To see Zagreus in this way, as lovers.

Zagreus’ smile tells Thanatos that he understood perfectly, but he voices it all the same. Redressed, Thanatos moves to the Prince’s side to give him one last soft parting kiss before he steps away to teleport. Zagreus’ happy, wistful sigh follows him on its own silent wings.

It fills Thanatos’ heart with the sweetest longing, the most gentle ache. One that will only be eased when he can be at his lover’s side again.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at my Twitter [Angstgremlin](https://twitter.com/Angstgremlin)


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